- We'd better go and get the car - We have until six
I know you don't care, but it does mean my ass
That hurts, Cameron
- What have you seen today? - Nothing good
Nothing! What do you mean, nothing good?
We've seen everything good, we've seen the whole city
We went to a museum and saw priceless works of art
What? What's wrong?
Look over there
- What's he doing? - He's making obscene gestures
What?
- He didn't leave - It really busts my hump
- He didn't ditch us - He might be back at school
- He would not go back to school - He'd do it just to make me sweat
Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to play a little tune for you.
I dedicate it to a man who doesn't think he's seen anything good today.
Cameron Frye, this one is for you.
- Get off the float! - What are you doing?
As long as I've known him, everything works for him
There's nothing he can't handle I can't handle anything
School, parents, the future Ferris can do anything
- I don't know what I'm going to do - College
Yeah, but to do what?
What are you interested in?
Nothing
Me neither
You're crazy!
What do you think Ferris is going to do?
He's going to be a fry cook
Christ
Look what Uncle Ed has for you, you little fucker
Jesus!
Sleep tight, pooch
I knew it!
Well, where is she? This is her daughter
Do you know where she is? Do you know when she'll be back?
Do you know anything?
- Ferris - Bueller
You're psychotic You're out of your mind
I can't believe you went on a goddam parade float!
Okay, wait
"Yeah, this tune is one of my personal favourites"
- A lot of people saw you - You are nailed
Who'd believe I was in a parade?
Anybody who would nail me wouldn't go to a parade
That was so quick
- This looks okay to me, Cameron - It looks great Let's roll
Here you go Thank you
You're a very generous individual Come back anytime
- Watch the seat - Sorry
See you later
We've got to do this again
This is not a phoney call There is an intruder, -
- male Caucasian, possibly armed, in my kitchen
My name's Bueller
You hope my brother's feeling better? I'm in danger!
I am very protective of my body I do not want it violated or killed
I need help!
Speak any English? Dickhead
Excuse me, if you're still in the house, I'vejust called the police.
If you have any brains whatsoever, you'll get out real quick.
I also have my father's gun and a scorching case of herpes.
Wait, that's my car! I'll move it
He got my keys
You shithead!
I feel pretty good I feel real good
Those guys at the garage were nice I was a little worried about them
It turned out good
Hey
- Cameron - Yeah?
How many miles did you say this thing had on it when we left?
126 and halfway between three and four tenths
Why? How many miles are on it now?
Here's where Cameron goes berserk
Cameron, are you okay?
Cut that out
Who is it?
I'm sorry, I can't come to the door right now. In my weakened condition -
- I could take a spill down the stairs...
God bless the police I'm saved Thank you, God
- Thank... - I heard that you were feeling ill
headache, fever and a chill
I came to help restore your pluck
'cause I'm the nurse who likes to...
This may very well be for real
He might have blown a microchip or two
He's always been a little keyed up I just wanted to give him a good day
We're going to graduate soon
We'll have the summer He'll work and I'll work
We'll see each other at night and on the weekends
Then he'll go to one school and I'll go to another
Basically that will be it
Sloane's as big a problem
She has another year of high school How do I deal with that?
I was serious when I said I'd marry her I would
Cameron?
Can you hear me?
Cameron, blink if you understand me
Cameron has never been in love Well, nobody has been in love with him
If things don't change for him, he's going to marry the first girl he lays
And she's going to treat him like shit, because she will have given him -
- what he has built up in his mind as the end all, be all of our existence
She won't respect him
You can't respect somebody who kisses your ass It just doesn't work
Ferris, we'd better try something else This isn't working
Are you feeling better, Cameron?
Why don't you come in here? It's really nice
Cameron, I can flip out real easy, too It's okay
Sooner or later, everybody goes to the zoo
Maybe he's really sick Maybe he isn't just torturing himself
Hey! Hey, Cameron!
Cameron, wake up
Come on, Cameron Wake up!
- What is that? - Ferris Bueller, you're my hero
- That was pretty impressive, man - You son of a bitch
It's not funny
Drugs?
Thank you, no I'm straight
I meant, are you in here for drugs?
- Why are you here? - Drugs
- I don't know why I'm here - Why don't you go home?
Why don't you put your thumb up your butt?
You wear too much eye make-up
My sister wears too much People think she's a whore
- You don't want to talk about it? - With you? Are you serious?
- I'm serious - Blow yourself
All right, you want to know what's wrong?
I know what's wrong I just want to hear you say it
In a nutshell, I hate my brother How's that?
That's cool Did you blow him away or something?
No, not yet
He was ditching school When I went home to check, some guy was there
The cops picked me up for making a phoney call
What do you care if your brother ditches school?
- Everybody else has to go - You could ditch
- I'd get caught - Yes
You're pissed off because he ditches and doesn't get caught, is that it?
- Basically - Basically
- Your problem is you - Excuse me?
Worry about yourself, not about what your brother does
- That's just an opinion - What are you, a psychiatrist?
Keep your opinions to yourself
There's somebody you should talk to
If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle
Oh, you know him
That whole time I was just thinking things over
I was like meditating
Then I sort of watched myself from inside
I realised it was ridiculous being afraid
Worrying about everything Wishing I was dead
All that shit I'm tired of it
It was the best day of my life
I'm going to miss you guys next year
Cameron, can I ask you a question?
Yeah
Did you see me change out of my clothes by the jacuzzi?
Did you?
You saw me? I thought you were catatonic
That's okay I'm not embarrassed
I better check on the car
Hey, Ferris!
Yeah?
The miles aren't coming off going in reverse
No I thought that might be a problem
We have to open the odometer, roll it back by hand
No, forget it
Forget it
I've got to take a stand
I'm bullshit
I put up with everything
My old man pushes me around
I never say anything
He's not the problem I'm the problem
I've got to take a stand
I've got to take a stand against him
I am not going to sit on my ass -
- as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life
I'm going to take a stand and defend it
Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it
I'm so sick of this shit
I can't stand him and I hate this goddam car
Who do you love? You love a car
You son of a bitch
Shit
I dented the shit out of it
Good
My father will see what I did I can't hide this
He'll come home and he'll have to deal with me
I don't care I really don't
I'm just tired of being afraid
The hell with him
I can't wait to see the look on his face
What did I do?
- What did I do? - You killed the car
Whoa!
Holy shit!
It's my fault I'll take the heat for it
When he comes home, we'll tell him that I did it He hates me anyway
No, I'll take it
- I'll take it - No, you don't want this much heat
If I didn't want it, I wouldn't have let you take the car
- I made you take that car - I could have stopped you
I want it I'm going to take it, that's it
When Morris comes home, he and I will just have a little chat
It's cool No, it's going to be good
Thanks anyway
This is a shock to me I don't know why she left school
And why would she come up with a story about an intruder?
For whatever reason she did it, she's had a scare
I appreciate you calling We'll have a long talk with her at home
Thank you
- I hope your son is feeling better - Pardon?
Tell him all the guys at the station are pulling for him
Right
- Hi - Don't "hi" me, young lady
I want to get out of here now Now
Okay Fine!
- She's a little hyper - Yeah
Let's not ruin this with a lot of talk, okay?
- You didn't tell me your name - It's Jean
But a lot of guys call me Shauna
- Okay, Jean - Cool
That's great
I'll see you, okay?
Jeanie, now!
- Now! - Okay
- I had a great time today - Yeah, it was pretty cool
Will Cameron be okay?
Yeah, sure, for the first time in his life
He's going to be just fine
You knew what you were doing when you woke up this morning
Me? No
Oh, shit!
I have to go
- I'll call you tonight - Okay
- I love you - I love you, too
He's going to marry me
Do you know what it's like to pick up your daughter at the police station?
I was about to close the deal with the Vermont people
I was going to take my commission and buy Ferris a car
What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to kill us?
Look at this mess I'll never get these papers back in order
- Slow down - I can't drive with you yelling at me!
Hi, I'm Ferris Bueller
No, don't get up That smells delicious
- Dinner's ready - What? Who was that?
What's wrong?
Everything I just picked up Jeanie at the police station
She got a speeding ticket and I lost the Vermont deal because of her
Looking for this?
I got you, Ferris
How's Ferris? Let's go in and check on him
I have dreamed about this And this time
you little bastard, I've got you right where I want you
Ferris, we're home
How would you feel about another year at high school?
Under my close, personal supervision?
Hi
Thank God you're all right We've been worried sick about you
Thank you, Mr Rooney, for driving him home
Go upstairs and get in bed
Scoot!
Can you imagine someone that sick trying to walk home from hospital?
Kids!
By the way, you left your wallet on the kitchen floor
Honey
- He's still awfully warm - How do you feel?
150% better, thank you
Don't make me stay home again I want to go to school
I have to graduate in June, and I
Ferris, you're sick Don't push it and make yourself worse
- Maybe you're right, Dad - I know I'm right, pal
- How did you get to be so sweet? - From years of practice
Blanket
Get well
I'm going to get myself settled, then I'll bring you a hot cup of soup
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Life moves pretty fast
If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it
Four years I've been chasing this kid
Four years he's been making a fool of me
Hey, Mr Rooney, what's going on?
Did you get in a fight?
Do you want a lift?
I bet you never smelled a real school bus before
Gummi bear?
They've been in my pocket They're real warm and soft
You're still here?
It's over
Go home
Go